Fractured reality
by taintedtruffle
Summary: While doing a school project on the history of south park the boys stumble across the fact that there nothing more than characters in a tv show. How will they react and will this affect there lives or anything at all?
1. Discovory

I'm a new south park aficionado (about 2 months since I watched my first episode) and I wanted to try my hand at writing my own fan fic to it, unfortunately no matter how hard I tried I simply couldn't think of anything to write so two days ago I got out a notebook and just started writing even if it was utter nothingness until something came out of it. Whither its good or bad I leave that up to you to tell me and I encourage your input good or bad!

On with the story!  
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"Dude!" Kyle looked up from his open book to his super best friend. Stan was sitting in front of the computer, supposedly working on a social studies project and beckoning the Jew over with urgent movements.

"What is it?" Kyle sighed. He was too comfortable to get up off the bed with out good reason.

"Were on the Internet!"

"Oh, the wonders of home computers." Kyle rolled his eyes; view going back to the leather bound volume.

"Kyle! I'm serious! We- as in you, me, fat ass, Kenny, are ON the Internet."

"And?" He didn't glance away this time. "With half the shit Cartman's convinced us to do we're lucky if its not America's most wanted's homepage."

"No. It's like hundreds of websites dedicated to US with like…obsessive stalker details."

"What? NO way." Kyle finally sat down "The comprehensive history of South Park, Colorado" and slid his slight frame off the down comforter, coming to rest behind Stan.

"That's you?" He asked, pale finger pointing at a picture of a round-headed boy with big, round eyes and a red and blue hat. Bold black letters labeled it as Stan Marsh.

"Look at you." The raven-haired boy gestured towards the screen. They both looked at an equally round boy, this one wearing a green hat with ear flaps and clearly marked as Kyle Broflovski.

"At least they didn't add my hair." Kyle mumbled, hands sub-consciously coming up to tangle in the fire-red locks.

"You know what these pictures remind me of?" Stan said, scrolling down a listing of almost everyone in the town.

"Those paper cut outs Butter's did of us?"

"Bingo."

"Go back to the search results. This is fuckin' creepy." Kyle glared at the computer.

"I know right?" Stan pressed the button.

"Click the first one." Kyle instructed.

Stan dragged the mouse over to "south park studios" and read the description. "Watch every episode of South Park for free and get news straight from the studio at the official site for television series."

"Never mind, next. Were not a damn TV show." Kyle growled.

"Fine. Next ones wikipedia, there reliable." Stan clicked the link and instantly was greeted with a shot of the entire town in paper form. Underneath that was a long article.

"South Park is an American animated sitcom created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone for the Comedy Central television network. Intended for mature audiences, the show has become infamous for its crude, surreal, satirical, and dark humor that lampoons a wide range of topics.

The ongoing narrative revolves around four children—Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Eric Cartman, and Kenny McCormick—and their bizarre adventures in and around the fictional and titular Colorado town." Kyle narrated with a look of disgust. "Dude!" He looked at Stan. "What's going on?!"

"I don't know." Stan pushed away from the computer. "I gotta get the other two." He rolled the computer chair to the edge of the steps. "Kenny! Cartman! Get outta the stupid fridge and get up here now!"

Meanwhile Kyle was still reading. The Jew knelt down in front of the now chair less computer to get a better look, biting his lip as his eyes read over the print. "This is so messed up!" he exclaimed as Stan came back in the room.

"Look at this! I clicked the link on my name, they know everything about me!!"

"Chill." He rolled back to the desk, Kyle scooting over to allow his best friend room, resting his elbows on Stan's lap to keep the screen in view.

"It says they wanted to kill off my character Stan!" He exclaimed.

"Lets look at a different one." Once again he went back to the main list/

"You called us up here so we could watch Ginger give you a blow job?" Cartman sneered form the doorway.

"Shut up Cartman." The two boys yelled in sync, Kyle standing up instantly and chucking what ever happened to be closest at the Nazi.

"Ow! Fuuk! That hurt!" The brown haired boy cried out, pudgy hand rubbing his head.

"Porn?" Kenny asked eagerly as he came in, munching happily on a bag of popcorn.

"No Kenny. Someone's stalking us!" Kyle snapped.

"Really? Cool!"

"This is unreal!" Stan exclaimed as he looked through another site.

"Ugh!" Kyle threw his hands up in the air in disgust, stomping over to sit on the bed. "I don't like this."

"Still got sand in yer vagina Kahl?" Cartman smirked. "Although by now it's pro'ly turnin' into pearls."

"Am I really the only one who cares about this?!" Kyle practically screamed. "Seriously, I got a bad feeling about this! Do you know what all that stuffs sayin'?! Were not real! Were imaginary- fake- pretend! How can ya'll NOT care?!?"

"I think it's pretty cool." Kenny interjected.

"You would, don't you see?! That's why you don't stay dead!"

"It's my love for you that keeps me comin' back" Kenny interjected, batting his eyes at the Jew.

"Dude that's the faggyest thing you've ever said and I hope to Moses your joking." Kyle growled before turning back to his rant. "That's why Stan was able to find a giant talking clitoris!" Kyle was getting louder and more high pitched. "That's why Cartman was able to eat enough fake treasure to rupture anyone's insides! Why I killed Jesus to save the Easter bunny! All the shit that never made sense to me adds up now. WE. DON'T. EXIST."

"So?" Stan looked at his near hysterical friend. "We still are here right so no matter what our universe is whether it was made by a little furry freak, a man with a beard or these Matt and Tray guys were still here." He stood up, going over to the red head. "Everything is relative right? Einstein and all that shit?"

"Really, It's not like it should mater you stupid hippie!"

"Not like it maters?! Of course it matters" If were someone's little fantasy what if they get bored and decide to kill one of us off or torture us or give us cancer or something? What if they just flash flood the town, will it mater than Cartman?!" He pushed Stan away from him with a noise of disgust.

"Ya'll might not care but I can't help but feel this is the start of something horrible." He snatched up his coat, slamming the door hard enough to shake a dreidel off his shelf. "I'm going for a walk!" He yelled, zipping his coat against the frigid night air.

The three of them stared at one another, watching through the window as the petite Jew disappeared into the darkness.

It was Cartman who broke the silence. "Sooooo was it my imagination or did the Jew-fag say he killed Jesus?"

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OK, continue? Yes? No? Do you have something you want to see in here? Want them to read your story? Any feed back at all?


	2. Surfing

Chapter one seemed to be well received so here's ch. 2:

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"Should we go after him or something?" Kenny asked, already yanking on his hoodie.

"Let him go, he'll be back soon enough." Stan said, turning back to the computer screen. "I wanna read more into this."

"Yea, me too." Cartman grabbed Kyle's clothesbasket, dumping the contents on the floor and sitting his huge, gelatinous ass down on the now straining basket.

"I don't know." Kenny asked, toying with the ties on his jacket. "Kyle doesn't exactly have the best reaction to stuff like this."

"What are you talking about Kenny?" Stan didn't look up from the screen. "Kyle's really rational."

"Exactly! He found out the tooth fairy didn't exist and he DISPROVED his existence, remember? He though God didn't exist and he gave up living, remember Stan?"

"Of course I remember!" Stan snapped. "I'M his best friend, not you Kenny!"

"Some best friend." Kenny grumbled. "At least I care."

"Gawd Kenneh. Just 'cause you have a crush on the filtheh little Jew doesn't mean you know anything about him, now sit down and stop worryin' ya pussy, that's what he has that bitch of a mother for!"

"Shut the fuck up." Kenny said dully, yanking his jacket off and tossing it at Cartman as he flopped face down on Kyle's bed.

"Ew get it off!" Cartman yanked the orange fabric off his face, tossing it back at the blond. "Fuck, cant your family at least afford laundry soap?"

Kenny didn't respond, he just closed his eyes against all the annoyance and what ever else Cartman was yelling at him. Living with two abusive drunkards as parents he had mastered this technique at an early age.

"Let me see that!" Cartman snatched the mouse away from the raven-haired boy and clicked the "Image" link. It was only a split second before he was loudly screaming at the screen. "Why the hell do all these pictures make me look so God damn fat!?!?"

He scrolled down. "Ay!" He glared at one thumbnail on the screen with him, Stan, Kyle and Wendy in matrix garb with the words "Fatrix" written across his picture. "Look at that!" He screamed. "Ah'm gonna kill this yokiyoki word press site!"

"Will you shut up stupid?" Stan hissed, rolling his eyes. "You can't kill a website, seriously, are you retarded? Just hit next!"

"Ay! Don't call me a retard, faggot!!!"

"Ugh, just shut up and hit next." He glanced over at the blond splayed out on the lime green sheets. "I think Kenny's trying to sleep."

"Heaven forbid we don't let the fag dream about your little boyfriend."

Stan sighed and didn't bother to argue, wining an argument with Cartman was impossible seeing as his idea of arguing was the same name-calling and threat making of a six year old.

"Look there's dolls of us!" Cartman exclaimed, clicking on the picture. "South park six inch action figure series three" he read. There was a little plastic doll of Mr. Mackey, Jesus, 10 year old Cartman in a police uniform, Timmy with his wheel chair, Butters and a frozen Kenny.

"Aww! Cool, this is so tits! Ah'm a doll!" He grinned wide. "Ahy gotta get me onea these! How much are these?" He scrolled down than back up and down again. "There are seven 'add to cart' buttons but no price!!"

"Um dude, that's the price." Stan pointed to £11.77 next to the picture.

"No. That's a funny L with numbers next to it."

Stan blinked at his friend. "You know I really have no idea why I hang out with you."

"Trust me Marsh. The feelings mutual." They deadpanned at one another un-blinking until Cartman cracked a smile. Stan did the same and soon they where both giggling.

"This is retarded! How do they expect you to know how much the things are?!"

"How come I'm not there?" Stan inquired.

"Who knows, Jew-boys not there either, now help me figure out how to get one of these."

Stan ignored him. "Sure, Kyle's not there but ME?! They have TIMMY but not me? Am I really less popular than BUTTERS?! People would rather have Mr. Mackey than me?!"

"Don't worry about it, this site is gay." He quickly took him self back to the search results. "GOD DAMNIT!! Its that stupid Fatrix picture again!!!"

"That's it Eric, give me the mouse." Stan snatched the small piece of electronics from the large boy.

"Yes!" He exclaimed seven pages into looking. "There I am!" He pointed at himself in his old Fingerbang costume.

"Yea but it's on that stupid Star Store website." Cartman growled. "Bastards don't tell you the prices!"

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"Look at that one! Someone drew us!" Stan exclaimed, clicking on the thumbnail.

"Ah'd have to say Ahy look pretty darn cute." Cartman amended.

"Your just sayin' that because this 'Yazzsuki' didn't make you ridiculously fat."

"Ahm not fat!!!"

Stan scrolled down finding an array of comments left by random people. The first one was by someone named numbah3 with the comment "i loooove the " son of a b----" hangman in the back it made me laugh out loud when i noticed it XD  
btw do you mind if i submitted this to the Cartters group? Please" Next to the word Cartters was a picture of Butters kissing Cartman.

"IS THAT ME AND BUTTERS?!?!" Cartman screamed.

"Y-yea."

"What the hell is Cartters?"

"Dude it's your names!" Stan realized. "Cartman plus Butters equals Cartters."

"Fuckin' disgusting! They Bradgalina'd us!"

"Should I- Should I clink on it?"

"NO! Gawd, why would you even ASK that?!

Stan chuckled and Cartman shot him a scathing look.

"Buttman."

"What?!"

"Your names, if they put Butters first ya'lld be Buttman."

"One more word and Ah'll kick yew in the nuts."

"Oh I'm so scared." Stan rolled his eyes. "Look here's a search bar, lets see what we can pull up." He quickly typed in there names and hit send.

The second picture that appeared was titled "Cartman's a wuss."

Cartman instantly started screaming and Stan waited patiently until his friend dropped his voice.

"Cartman?"

"What?"

"If your gonna do that every time you see something you don't like we can stop right now."

Cartman scowled but didn't say anything.

"I'm serous. Next time you scream like that I'm shutting off the computer and we both know Kyle password protects this thing."

"Than you couldn't get on either."

"Oh well." Stan shrugged, reaching for the button.

"Fine Stanley Ah'll _try _to keep my comments to myself." They turned to the computer.

"OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT! MOTHER FUCKER WHAT THE FUCKIN' HELL IS THAT?!?!" Stan screamed shrilly and Cartman busted out laughing so hard tears where rolling down his fat face.

"S-so much for not y-yelling at the sc-screen." He stammered between boughts of laughter.

"But- they- do you see- holly- what am I DOING to Kyle?!?"

"Ah believe that's called sixty nineing." Cartman said in a condescending tone. "And the one next to it is referred to as butt sex, also known by the cow boy populating as 'going fishing'."

"But…. Why? Why would someone draw that?" He whimpered. "I feel like I'm gonna hurl."

"Do it on me and Ah'll castrate you Hippie boy."

"That's it. I'm done." Stan pushed away from the computer desk. "I'm goin' to find something to drink. Maybe there's kosher Kool-Aid in the fridge or something."

"There's beers in the back of my car." Cartman said, hoping into the vacant seat. "Grab me one too."

Two minutes later Cartman turned to Stan calling out his name and spun to catch the drink. Unfortunately the can bounced off his hand smacking Kenny square in the face.

"Ow! Fuck!" Kenny sprung up, hand going up to cover his bloody nose. "God! You trying to kill me? Don't I die enough?"

"Sorry dude." Stan apologized, tossing one of the t-shirts on the floor at the blond.

"I think you broke my nose!" He glared at the two of them, trying to stop the blood flow.

"We said we where sorry poor boy!" Cartman snapped.

Kenny didn't even respond to the insult. "Where Kyle?" He looked around. "He's not back yet?"

Stan was about to respond when he heard a key in the door downstairs followed by feather light footsteps coming up the steps.

"Sounds like him now."

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note: this would have been done a lot quicker if I wasn't busy watching Tinker bell movies ^^'

heres all the stuff mentioned in there (take out the spaces.)

fatrix- http .com/2009/10/05/now-watching-stargate-universe/

series 3 dolls- http:// .com/acatalog/Starstore_Catalogue_SOUTH_PARK_6_INCH_ACTION_FIGURES_SERIES_3__

fingerbang dolls- http .com/acatalog/Starstore_Catalogue_SOUTH_PARK_ACTION_FIGURES__SOUTH_PARK_FIGURES_

yazzsuki's picture – .com/art/South-Park-meet-Lucky-Star-lol-92971 680

cartmans a wuss pic-

http:// .com/art/Cartman-s-such-a-wuss-7675223

Please comment guys! I won't want to continue if you don't I'm dead serious. Comments make me write!


	3. Guest

Artist comments: I wanna here from you, seriously I wanna know what you like, what you don't like, ect. Oh and Bliss Potter I apologize, I know you like Stan but there's a lot of Stan/Wendy in here ^^' I couldn't help it; I really do like that couple.

Ch3

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The three boys frowned as they heard two more pairs of footsteps and in stepped Kyle, closely followed by Wendy and Bebe.

"Hiya Stan." Wendy cooed, arms instantly going around him. She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him and he chuckled, backing up and sitting on the edge of his best friends bed so he could pull his raven-haired girl friend into his lap.

Kyle looked past him to Kenny and frowning, hurried from the room and came back with a wet washcloth. "Here." He crawled in behind Stan so he was sitting beside Kenny.

The blond traded the sullied shirt for the cool washcloth and gave a mumbled thanks as he looked at his petite friend. "Feeling better Ky?"

Kyle shrugged. "What happened to you?" He asked softly.

"Stan hit me in the face with a beer can thanks to his suck-ass aiming skills." Kenny said, glairing although the boy in question didn't notice, he was still busy with Wendy after all.

"Is it broken?" Kyle inquired, green eyes heavy with worry.

"I-" Kenny touched it gingerly. "I thought it was at first but I think I'll be ok now."

"Good." Kyle smiled at his white trash friend.

"So where'd you go?"

"The park, I just wanted to be alone so I just walked around."

"For three hours?"

"I was thinking Ken."

"Oh well in that case were lucky you came home at all."

Kyle snorted and rolled his eyes. "I did lose track of time though, by the time I actually thought of going home it was pitch black outside." He shifted on the bed, getting more comfortable. "I found Bebe and Wendy, apparently she was on a date with some jerk and called Wendy so she didn't have to go home herself. I offered to walk them home and we stopped for ice cream along the way."

"Mm I thought I tasted strawberry." Stan mumbled, pinning his girl friend against Kyle's mattress and continuing to ravage her pink mouth.

"God, you two gonna do it right there in his bed?" Bebe rolled her eyes with a chuckle, sitting down daintily on the upturned clothesbasket.

"Yep." Stan smirked before turning his full attention back to the blushing brunette.

"No that's what the living room is for." Kyle muttered, shooting a look at his best friend.

"Yes it is!" Stan agreed with a grin and a little too much enthusiasm in his voice.

"So…" Kenny cut in, tugging gently at the cherry curls beside him. "What are they-no offence ladies- doing here? You kinda failed at the whole walking them home thing if this is where you all ended up."

"Jew-fro there fails at everything." Cartman said from his place at Kyles des.

The young Semite ignored him for once, instead keeping all his attention on the blond who was still toying with his hair. "Technically I did bring them home." Kyle smiled. "I never specified _who's_ house I was bringing them to."

"That sounds like the punch line of a date rape joke ginger."

"Shut up Cartman!" Kyle reached for something to throw at him and, finding nothing, yanked one of kennys shoes off his foot and launched it as hard as he could at the back of Eric's head. "That's not even funny!"

"OW!" Cartman roared, jumping up so fast the chair fell over. "That's it filthy matzo muncher! I'm gonna beat you worse than your grandma got it in Auschwitz!" He launched him self at Kyle, fat hands instantly going around his thin neck.

"Watch what your doing. You almost kicked Wen!" Stan snapped, sitting up and shoving the fat sack of lard off the bed. This in turn dragged Kyle as well who, clawing at the hands bruising his neck landed on top, taking advantage of his new position to knee the Nazi in the balls.

Cartman let go instantly right as Kenny's foot came down, hitting him hard in the shoulder. "Fuuk!" He groaned rolling away. "Y-yall can't gang up like that! That's cheating!"

"You can't just attack him in his own house fat ass!" Kenny screamed, grabbing Kyle who was still coughing roughly and hauling him by the arm back onto the bed. "Seriously when are you gonna actually grow up ad realize you cant fuckin' act like this any more?!"

Kenny ignored the fact that everyone in the room was looking at him and straightened the petite boys green hat.

"You ok?"

"Yea."

"Now what where you saying?"

"I-" Kyle faltered under Kenny's attentive gaze. "I don't even remember." He said with a small smile.

"You where telling him why we ended up here." Bebe imputed from her perch atop the clothesbasket. "Pretty much while we where eating the ice cream Kyle said Stan was here and Wendy decided she wanted to see him so here we are."

"Mmm." He finished off his beer, tossing the can in the trash before turning back to Kyle. "So your ok with the whole non existent thing?"

"I guess." He leaned back against the headboard. "I mean there's not much I can do about it is there? Although it does make you question, ya know?"

"No…"

"I mean, you keep dying and coming back. Do you think the rest of us will do the same?" He looked down at his upturned palms, lightly tracing one thin, pale finger over the pastel blue veins. "It wouldn't be just you who could do that right?"

Kenny didn't say anything he just looked at his friend in disbelief.

A slight blush was sliding across Kyle's face as he continued, fumbling to continue. "I've been wondering about it for a while since before I could remember but…" he staled. "Arnt you even the slightest bit curious what would happen if I-"

"No! Just-Just no!" Kenney blinked at the Jew. "I mean- Jesus, don't say crap like that! You're freakin' me out!"

"Don't get the wrong idea, It's not like I'm gonna do anything, just curious." He still didn't look away from the lines he was tracing and Kenny reached forward with a felling he could only describe as fear and yanked the hand away, not letting go.

"Think about how many times we've almost died, how close we've been in the past. The three of us have been SECONDS away from certain death and survived with out a scratch. You on the other hand…" He squeezed the hand that was still holding his. "You die without thought. A twig in the breeze or a loose brick on the sidewalk and your gone Ken. Kyle's green eyes looked up at him, somber and serious. "It doesn't make you the slightest bit curious?"

"No." He answered curtly. "It doesn't. "It makes me glad to be alive. People do die here. Mrs. Crabtree died! Mrs. Chokesondick died!"

"I think they where written out." Kyle mumbled, pulling his hand away and bringing his knees up to his chest. "The internet says they wanted to write my character out too because I'm 'too similar to Stan'"

"Your not similar to him at all, hell other than the fact you're a boy your nothing like him!" Kenny looked from Kyle sitting beside him to Stan, splayed out on the other half of the bed making out with Wendy. "He gets action for one, you're the very definition of a virgin."

"That's not fair! I-"

Kenny ignored his protest and kept on. "Stan has course back hair you have this silky red stuff." His fingers once again found Kyle's hair. Stan likes sports and as Cartman would put it 'hippie stuff'. You like to read and draw and-"

"I like sports!"

"Basketball Ky but you don't even play. He's played football every season since kindergarten." He glared in mock anger, shaking a finger at the Jew. "Now stop talking back to me or I'm pushing you out of bed." He chastised.

"It's my bed!" Kyle claimed indignantly.

"They don't seem to care." He gestured to the couple still eating each other's faces. He leaned close enough to Kyle to count the freckles on his nose and smiled, softly whispering "Now shut up and let me talk."

Kyle crossed his arms but didn't say anything.

"Good, ok, lets see where I was, oh yea Stan doesn't really argue with one, he's just kinda there. You on the other hand have a temper as brilliant as you hair, not to mention your blush-"

"You can stop right there!" Kyle laughed. "It's starting' to get kind of creepy and more than a little gay."

"Creepy in a good way or bad way Broflovski?"

"Creepy in an 'I hope he doesn't stand out side my window and watch me sleep' sorta way.

Kenny laughed, grabbing his and with the best psycho grin he could muster purred "I make no promises."

Kyle just laughed, swatting his hand away.

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well that seemed good a place as any to end it, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE comment !

oh and I have a question for you readers…..what if this story became K2…..would you like that?


	4. Sandwitch

Cartman and Bebe sat in silence watching the other four interact wordlessly until Cartman sighed, reaching over and poking her fore arm.

"Yes?"

"Nothin."

"Mmhum." She turned back to the computer, intending on checking her email.

Poke. She looked at Cartman. "Do it again and I'm breaking your finger." She growled with out any actual malice behind it.

There was silence until; "So what happened with your date?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't but I could use an excuse to beat some guys face in."

Bebe rolled her eyes. "Nothin' He was just a jerk and I wasn't playing his games. He offered to drive me home, I declined and called Wendy."

"What'd he do?"

"He just though I was something I'm not." She sighed. "Every one thinks just because I take care of my appearance and have big hooters I'm a slut."

"I don't think you're a slut." Cartman said softly.

"Shure you don't." She laughed lightly. "man I could really go for a drink about now."

"I've got like six suitcase cases in my car."

"Well than lets go grab 'em!" She stood up with a smile.

"Yea, lets go." Cartman rolled his eyes, standing up. "Its getting a little to gay in here."

Bebe sighed as she stepped into the hallway. "Don't you get tired of it?" She asked as they walked.

"Tired of what?" He glared at the curly haired girl.

"That. Wendy and Stan. And the other two…" She huffed. "It's only a mater of time. Don't you ever feel… I don't know, left out?"

Despite the answer being a solid yes he shook his head. "Naw."

She looked at him, full lips smiling sadly. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" He glared, opening the door and letting her out.

"Why do you have to act so tough all the time? We all know it's just an act."

"Shut the fuck up!" Eric snapped, snatching up a case of beer, slamming the door closed behind him as he entered the house and stomped up the steps. "Stupid whore!" How dare she pretend to know him?

He threw down the 24 pack, moving to the window. Bebe stood where he left her beside the car.

"No way!" Kyle's voice broke his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"I said no way! I told you before you can't bring this shit in here!"

"Shut up jew."

"This isn't a frat house Cartman."

"Gawd relax Kahl. Why are you always so uptight?"

"If you had my mother you would be too. If she saw this crap in here I'd be grounded till I was 20!"

"We'll clean up before she gets back." He cracked open a can, downing it in one drink.

"And if she sees the cans in the trash? What if you spill something? Wall to wall white carpeting is NOT forgiving Cartman."

"We can stash the trash in my car, Chill, it's not like anyone's askin' you ta drink the shit!"

"I know that 'cause I'm the one who' probably gonna end up leaning up the mess!"

Cartman growled, gaze turning back to Bebe. Annoyed he threw open the window. "Get in here Blondie! Gawd, no one wants you to freeze to death!"

She spun, giving him the middle finger before sitting down on the porch. Cartman growled. She wanted to play like that did she? Cracking his knuckles he headed for the bedroom doom, intent on dragging her up here.

"Gimme one of those." Kenny snatched up a beer as Cartman left the room, plopping down in the computer chair.

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"What are you doing?" Cartman glared as he opened the door.

"Sitting here. What are you doing?"

"Coming to get you before you freeze to death. Come on, I got Yuengling, I know its your favorite." He snatched the twelve pack from the car, holding it up for the curly haired blond to see.

She gave a small smile and he frowned, sitting down next to her on the icy porch. It wasn't him. She didn't care this much about what he said. "Thinking about your date?" He asked, effortlessly cracking both bottles open and handing her one.

"Yea." He breath was a little cloud in the night sky.

"You really like him?"

"No. I just met him." She huffed, balancing her chin on the bottle resting on her knee. "My cousin in North Park set us up on a blind date."

"Oh. No more datable guys in South Park?"

She smiled again, this time a mischievous, secretive tint to it. "Oh there's a few but they haven't approached me so…" She shrugged. "I don't ask people out. That's the guys job."

"Who?"

"Its not important." She stood up, tossing her empty bottle in the back seat and heading for the door. "Let's get inside before we freeze."

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"That's it! Off my bed!" The two of them walked in just in time to see Kyle shoving the raven haired duo off his bed.

"Spoil sport." Wendy pouted, legs still firmly locked round Stan's waist.

"Yes, yes, I know. I ruin all the fun. I won't let you drink your selves into a stupor and wreck my house or fornicate on my bed. How dare I? I am just such a bad person!"

"Thanks for seeing it my way." Carman imputed.

"What are you looking at?" Bebe asked the blond who was chuckling at the computer screen. He hadn't even looked up for the entire confrontation behind him.

"Jewish porn." He smirked.

"What?"

"It's um… fanfiction. Stan realized we where pretend." Kenny spun in his chair to look her in the eyes. "We were all- this whole town- was made up by these two guys named Matt and trey."

"Mmm. "Wendy looked at her boyfriend, roughly nibbling on his bottom lip. "You never told me you where crazy."

"There serious." Kyle mumbled.

"No way! Prove it!"

Kyle lay back in his bed, closing his eyes as he listened to the mindless banter. "You should take the girls home before you get to drunk." He mumbled to Cartman, already half asleep.

"No way! Were saying here tonight!" Wendy exclaimed

Kyle groaned. "Fine. Stan, make a mess and I will kill you."

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"Hey." Kyle sat up squinting first at Kenny than the clock. "Dude? What are you still doing awake? It's three in the morning!

"Um-" He gestured to the computer yawning. "I cleaned up all the beer cans and tossed 'em in lard asses car. Think Cartman took out half a twenty-four pack him self!

"And you did the rest?" He didn't look impressed.

"Not by a long shot. I was on the computer. Six or seven at the most. I stuffed the rest of the drinks in the back of your closet."

"Mmm." Kyle stretched with a yawn, looking around. The only one's he saw were the two blonds "Where's Stan and everyone? They go home?"

"Naw. Stan's down stairs defiling your couch with Wendy."

"Nothin' new." He mumbled, snuggling back down into bed and moving away from Bebe. "Get in bed. Sleep."

Kenny's face broke into a lecherous grin instantly and Kyle rolled his eyes. "Should I sleep next to Bebe and you sleep on the end?"

"Of course not. Being sandwiched between a sexy Jew and a hot blond sounds perfect."

Kyle rolled his eyes as Kenny climbed in. " Why do you have to say stuff like that?" He asked, slight annoyance tinting his voice.

"Stuff like what?"

"You know, that. I mean you don't say stuff like that to Cartman or Stan."

"Well that's because being sandwiched between those two would just be nauseating."

"See! That's what I mean right there! Its almost as if your flirting with me Ken!"

"Well… you know… I kinda am." Kenny mumbled quietly, a rare blush creeping across the bridge of his nose.

"Oh." Ky smiled before rolling over and hiding his face in his pillow.

"Why are you smiling?" Kenny purred, grabbing his shoulder and trying with out much effort to flip the small boy over. "You _like_ the idea of getting attention from me?" He ran his hands up and down Kyle's arms as he spoke.

Kyle didn't answer but every inch of his exposed skin was becoming flushed at the contact.

"You do, don't you?" He pulled at Kyle seriously this time, flipping him onto his back. The catholic boy smirked, straddling him and effectively pinning with his torso, anchoring his arms above his head with one hand.

"Kenny!" Kyle wined, trying futilely to free him self.

"Look what I got." Kenny whispered, leaning in so he was mere inches from Kyle's face. "Its an innocent little red head."

The crimson shade of his face matched his hair as he looked up at his friend. "Th-this isn't funny." His breathing spiked as Kenny ground against his groin. "Ken stop it!

"Do you like me?" Kenny ignored his pleas, speeding up his movements.

Kyle didn't answer; all he could do was whimper, biting his lip as he tried to control his body's reaction. He wasn't used to this kind of thing. He didn't even touch him self like this for Mosses sake!

"~Your not answering me Kyyylllleee~" Kenny sung, dragging out his name. "It's rude not to answer people. Well…" He chuckled. "At least part of you is answering me."

"Kenny, Please!" He cried out, bucking as hard as he could. "S-stop!" Kenny was right. God was he right. Kyle was loving the attention: the soft tickle of the blonds fingertips on his skin, the scent of his breath as he leaned barley millimeters from his lips.

All Kyle could think of was breaching that minute space and taste those soft lips but it was wrong.

"Tell me your not enjoying this." Kenny taunted, speeding up. He was, every sinful sensation it sent rushing through him making his pulse quicken and his blush deepen.

"Yes you ass! Kenny! Stop!" Kyle practically screamed.

Kenny halfway, swinging his legs so he was off the red heads lap but didn't let go of his hands.

"Sorry." He apologized even though the smirk on his face and the husky tone of his voice said he was anything but sorry.

"Why are you doing this?" Kyle whimpered.

"Because I like you." He stated simply, leaning down and nibbling on the scarlet ear.

"No you don't." Kyle said, heart heavy. He wasn't stupid. He knew it was the beer talking. "Your drunk Kenny, that's all it is."

"Maybe the alcohol just gave me confidence." Kenny whispered, biting Kyle's bottom lip.

"Than tell me tomorrow." Kyle whispered with a sad smile. "Tell me when you're sober, no invitation required."

Kenny didn't say anything buy he did loosen his grip, allowing Kyle to pull his hands free.

The ginger haired boy lay down, pulling his blankets up. "And don't molest Bebe ken."

"She's not what I'm after." Kenny stated, catching Kyle's face and locking lips with his red haired friend. Kyle's mind flat out blanked as he returned it, kiss tasting of beer and Doritos. Kyle moaned as Kenny slid his hand up the Jews shirt.

"Ya'll are flat out faggots." A voice said next to the bed and Kyle paled, jerking away instantly. "Cartman!" The brown haired had sat up and was staring at them with un veiled disgust. After about thirty seconds he got to his feet, staggering his way out of the room.

"Don't worry." Kenny mumbled sleepily snuggling down into forest green bedding. "He drunk plenty. He wont remember nothing in the mornin'."

Kyle lay down, heart heavy. 'neither will you' he thought sadly. After all, this wasn't the first time this had happened.

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Ok guys please comment! I love feedback !


	5. Breakfast

Stan smiled, kissing the raven-haired goddess as she sagged atop him. "Oh Stan." She sighed his name as she pulled away from his mouth and nestled her face in the crook of his neck.

"Love you Wendy." He whispered, gently kissing the top of her head.

"Love you too." Her blue eyes closed and they lay together, sweaty and spent. . Idly Stan thought that he needed to get up. They needed t get up and get dressed so the Broflovski's didn't cone home from there synagogue lock in to find the two of them butt naked on the couch. . He sighed, stretching and tightening his grip on his girl friend. He was too lazy to even pull out as they lay in one another's arms. He was almost asleep when the sound of someone coming down the steps made him look up.

"Stan there's f-faggots up there." Cartman slurred, tripping the last four steps and staying where he landed. "Fucking Jewfag." He mumbled already back to sleep.

Stan shook his head in amusement, even drunk off his ass Cartman couldn't give it a rest.

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Sunlight was shining through the room the next time Stan opened his eyes. "that not right' he thought. 'I thought I turned off all the lights?'

"Stan come on!" Something shoved him and he groaned, pulling his blanket tighter around him and pulling windy more snuggly against him.

If I have to tell you again I'm putting one of Cartman's shoes on your face!"

"Huh?" Stan sat up. Sunlight was streaming through the windows and, he frowned as he realized it was one of the couch pillows he was holding not his girl friend. "Where's Wendy?" He slurred, tong still heavy from both residual liquor and sleep.

"Her and Bebe left an hour ago. It's after nine now hurry up and put some clothes on before someone comes home. I don't want my mom to have a heart attack."

Stan looked down and saw he'd been covered with a blanket, most likely by his best friend. He stretched again, looking at the red haired boy. Kyle actually wasn't wearing his ushanka, instead his red hair was tied loosely back as he scrubbed at a stain on the floor. "Now!" He glared and Stan couldn't help but laugh at his seriousness. "Come on, they'll be home any minute!"

"Ok, I'm up, I'm up."

"Good." Kyle got up, taking his bucket and scrubber with him. "There's clean clothes on the coffee table."

Stan pulled his shirt over his head and looked around. The vase he'd knocked over was back on its pedestal, flowers back in it and water cleaned up. The throw pillows where all back on the furniture along with the magazines and the table runner. The only thing out of order was the fact that Cartman was still fast asleep, spread eagle on his stomach at the base of the steps.

"you decent yet dude?" Kyle called.

Stan quickly pulled his pants on, finding no boxers in sight. "Free ballin' but fine."

"Ew." Kyle commented, coming in with a hair dryer.

"Finally straightening your hair?" Stan teased.

"No I'm drying the floor from where you spilled your drink yesterday. "

"Sorry." Stan chuckled, folding up his blanket and draping it over the back of the couch.

"Washing machine." Kyle didn't look up from his ministrations with the floor. "Take the couch cover too. Love you like a brother man but I refuse to sit on that thing while its covered in your cum stains."

"In that case you should wash the table cloth and the love seat too."

Kyle deadpanned at him, clearly not impressed. "I'm going to assume your joking."

"Of course." Stan forced a laugh. "You really are no fun this morning."

Kyle shrugged, unaffected by this comment. Ok so he was in a bad mood but its not like he could help it. He had been up since six cleaning thanks to his friends.

Glaring he finished the floor, emptying the trash can in the kitchen and tossing it in the trunk of Eric's car along with the rest of the trash. He had offered.

Yawning he did a final sweep of the house, checking under all the tables and chairs for any wayward cans or neglected panties.

"Hey you." He mumbled, knelling down as he caught sight of a bottle sticking out from under the couch. He reached for it, groaning as it just rolled farther back. He crouched down even lower, starching his thin arms.

"Mmm, nice pose, putting that in my spank bank." Kenny's familiar muffled voice made him jump and he chuckled as kyle jumped, spinning to face him.

"Kenny!"

"What? Nothing better to start my morning than the sight of that little behind bobbing in the air." He hoped over cartman, looking at the red head.

"Stop it." Kyle frowned. "It's to early for this."

"So its night time only 'cause you seemed to enjoy it last night." He smirked, sauntering towards the day walker.

Shock went through Kyle as well as a sense of elation as he looked at him. He remembered! He hid it well though quickly retorting with "funny I remembering telling you to back off not encouraging the fact."

"Soo…" Kenny purred, kneeling down next to Kyle, hands going on either side of his head "If I was to do this …" He gently bit Kyle's bottom lip. "You wouldn't like this?" Kyle didn't respond, he literally shook in the Arian's grasp. "What about this?"

He gave him a chaste kiss, pulling back to look at his flushed face. He moved in for another kiss but Kyle stopped him. "I don't wanna just mess around." He mumbled, looking down at his hands folded in his lap.

"If we're gonna be kissing and stuff I wanna be … a couple." He bit his lip wondering if he'd lost him.

"Naturally." Kenny pulled up Kyle's head, kissing him hard on the lips. "Sealed with a kiss." The kiss slowly became more passionate as Kenny pushed Kyle back onto the white carpet. The blond swung his leg over the ginger much as he did last night.

"Kyle." He purred, grinding against him. Kyle whimpered as Kenny's toung slipped into his moth and they quickly began to battle. They froze as they heard someone scream "What the fuck!"

Stan ran at the frozen pair, foot flying at Kenny. It connected solidly with his shoulder and sent him sprawling on his back.

"You sick pervert!" Stan screamed, pulling his leg back and swinging again.

"Stop it!" Kyle screamed, throwing him self onto the dark haired boy, only to be shoved off as Stan swung his leg a third time. "STAN!" Kyle grabbed his leg, holding it tonight as his best friend tried to shake him loose, all the while cursing at the blond.

Kenny frowned sitting up.

"He didn't do any thing!" Kyle said, tightening his grip.

"He…" Stan faltered looking down at the big green eyes of his best friend. "Look at your lip dude." He said softly. His lip was busted, blood running down his chin and dripping into his gray sweater.

"You did that with your stupid foot!" Kyle snapped, glaring and punching the football player's leg.

"Oh." He frowned than his eyes got big. "You mean you _let_ **Kenny **kiss you!"

Kyle nodded as Kenny sat up, pulling the Jew close and gently licking his lip clean.

"Sick dude!" Kyle protested and Stan gagged, literally fighting the urge to upchuck.

Kenny laughed, pulling Kyle up. "Come on. Let's get some ice on that." He shot Stan a look. "Jack ass."

"I'm fine Kenny." Kyle mumbled, looking a the floor.

"I'm sorry ok? God! If you came into a room and found Kenny pinning me to the ground **eating my face** what would you think?"

"Make me sound like a cannibal why don't you." The blond scoffed.

"Whatever." Kyle shrugged, heading for the steps. "I'm gonna go jump on the computer untell everyone comes home."

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Forty minutes later there was still no sign of the other three Broflovskis. Kenny was on computer, Kyle was on the bed doodling in his sketchbook and Stan was beside him cooing about plans for the Homecoming dance this Saturday.

"Guys this is awesome!" Kenny exclaimed, turning to face his two friends. "There's this stuff all over the internet called fan fiction and its written by these horny teenage girl and all they write about us doing the most kinky perversed shit you could imagine!"

"That guy?" Stan shook his head. "If your gay your gay dude buy why **Kenny**?"

Kyle shook his head, amused look on his face. "I have no idea but cant say I'm not happy. I don't even remember when I started likeing him but it feels like forever." He smiled, a blush sliding over his cheeks. "And he feels the same! You have no idea how hard it was to hide it! Especially after.." He flushed, looking away.

"After what?"

"This wasn't the first time he's hit on me while he was drunk." Kyle mumbled. "Or kissed me."

"What?"

"I'm serious. This is the third time since we started middle school."

"Really." Stan shook his head. "I-"

"WERE HOME BUBIE!" Sheila's voice echoed through the house.

"I'm up stairs with Stan and Kenny!"

They heard light footsteps scurrying up the steps and in barged his nine-year-old brother. "Didju miss me Kyle?" He asked, hopping into bed and throwing his arms around his big brother.

"Of course I did." Kyle said, laying back on his bed and pulling Ike down with him.

Stan couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy as he watched the two siblings talk. His sister was four years older than him, three years less a difference than these two whom actually weren't even blood related but they where closer than he could ever be with Shelly.

Ike noticed, not Stan but Kenny watching them and a sly smirk slid across his Canadian face. "You told him!" He poked his brother in his bony ribs. "Didn't you!"

"He started it." Kyle mumbled, not looking at his kid brother.

"Are you two dating?" He asked in a child's idea of a whisper. Kyle just nodded, face going red.

Ike's grin spread wider. "Didju kiss?"

Kyle nodded again.

"In bed?"

Kyle's third nod made Stan's eyes grow wide. He wasn't surprised at Kenny, that boy worked faster than a NASCAR pit crew but Kyle?

"Didju have sex?"

"No! I'm not you Ike and he's not my teacher!"

Stan let out an audible sigh of relief that cut off what ever rebuke the nine year old was about to shoot out and the two brothers turned to the raven-haired foot ball star.

Kyle, face the same crimson as his hair pulled a pillow over his blushing face and Ike started laughing loudly, rolling onto his back, feet kicking the air.

Kenny turned around with raised eyebrows. "What'd I miss?"

"Ike being a pervert." Kyle's muffled voice explained.

"What'd he say?"

"I just asked if you guys had sex." Ike said innocently.

Kenny couldn't help but laughing at that as well.

"Hello boys.' Shella's voice said, the smiling balabusta said, cracking opened the door. "Boys, I need you down stairs. Breakfast is almost ready and we need the table set. Oh, and Kyle?" She looked at her hidden son.

"Yes mom?" The pillow mumbled.

"Why is your fat friend sleeping at the bottom of the steps?"

"You know what?" He set up, finally showing his face. "I was wondering the same thing but seeing as I prefer him that way I didn't wake him up to find out."

Sheila nodded, not arguing with that logic and the two brothers stood, sliding off the bed and moving to follow her. 

Kenny rolled his chair after his cherry haired boy friend, catching him around his waist and pulling him on to his lap.

"Kenny!" Kyle flushed, feeling something hard beneath him.

"Yes?" The blond smiled sweetly, blue eyes sparking misceviusly.

He didn't let the boy respond, instead when Kyle opend his mouth to speak Kenny caught it in a kiss, toung sliding into the open mouth.

Kyle's hands instinctively went up around Kenny's neck, the blonds moving in the opposite direction, cupping his rear end. Kyle wimperd pulling back slightly as Kennys left hand began toying with the waistband of his jeans. "Ken-"

"Guys I'm still here." Stan said awkwardly, waving at the two faces that turned to him. Kyle rushed from the room as fact as possible and Kenny fell back in to the chair, head to the side and chair idly spinning from momentum as he laughed.

"You're gonna corrupt him aren't you?" Stan said darkly.

"Utterly and completely." Kenny agreed, turning back to the computer.

There was almost a full three minutes of silence until "Hurt him and I will snap your knee caps. I'm fuckin' serious."

The harsh tone caught Kenny's attention and he spun to face the quarter back.

"Emotionally or physically?" He attempted to joke. "I mean I'm pretty huge-"

"Your not funny. He's new to this in every respect, If this is one of your hit it and quit its you better drop it now because if fucking my best friend is a joke to you I will kill you. I will wait until you come back and I will kill you again every day for the rest of your sorry ass life."

"Relax." He smiled, hoping to put his friend at ease. "I'm not just screwin' around. I like Kyle- I mean REALLY like him. I have for a while. You've seen the way I flirt with him!"

"You flirt with everyone."

"Not you."

"No, thank god not me." He glared than sighed. "My point is- you **are** going out right? Like officially?"

Kenny nodded, a grin involuntarily spreading ear to ear. "I tried to kiss him this morning and he was all like 'I don't wanna just mess around, we have to be a couple to make out' and I was like 'Hell yea!' ! I mean," he chuckled. "Normally if I get into a relation ship which has happened like a grand total of what? Three times; Its me and the girl or dude in Butters case laying in bed, my dick freshly waxed and they look at me sayin' 'I'm so glad you're my boy friend ken-ken' or somethin' equally gay and I'm like 'we are-aw fuck it guess I'll roll with it'.

This is the first time I've agreed to it; I've **wanted** it." He looked at Stan with a rare blush on his face. "My feelings for Ky where what made me realize I was bi to began with."

"So why'd you wait so long? I mean- Why didn't you put the moves on him until last night?"

Kenny shrugged. "Never had the courage. Didn't wanna screw up the friendship."

"What changed?"

"Were not real Stan!" His grin was back. "It made me think that means some one made us all, right? So I was _made _to feel this way about Kyle. I figured it couldn't be for nothing, right so I went for it."

"Well whatever." Stan ran a hand through his messy black hair. "Just think before you ck McCormick. I don't want to have to castrate you."

"Relax Stan, god, you sound like his father or somethin'. Come on, let's go get breakfast."

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"I'm goin' home dude." Stan stood, clapping Kyle on the shoulder. "Thanks for the food Mrs. B, Mr. B." He grabbed his coat, walking backwards towards the door as he slipped it on. "Kenny don't make me hurt you."

"Me too." Cartman stood. "Think A'm gonna go home an' lay don. Ah'v gotta splitting headache."

The three remaining boys cleaned the table, washing the dishes quickly. They had just started up the steps when the doorbell rang. "I got it!" The smaller Jew squealed rushing down the steps.

Kyle and Kenny stoped at the top of the steps, waiting to hear who it was. A smirk slid across the blonds face, realizing he actually had a few seconds alone with his new boy friend.

"What are you doing?" Kyle whispered shivering slightly as he was pinned to the wall.

Kenny simply leaned forward gently taking the saccharine haired boys injured lip. "Okay?" he whispered hesitating for a second.

"It's fine."

Down bellow he heard Ike open the door, shyly saying hello.

"Sounds like the girls." Kyle mumbled without breaking the kiss.

"Mmn." Kenny pressed him harder in to the white painted wall, one hand coming up to tangle in his hair, the other resting on his small hip.

Wendy said something and Ike laughed ending with "Come on there up stairs."

Kyle opened his eyes not even realizing he'd closed them, pushing slightly at Kenny. "They're coming!"

They could hear footsteps on the steps. "So?" Kenny pulled him back against him.

"Stop! They'll see us!"

Kenny let go at that backing up a half step.

"Am I a secret?"

Kyle felt guilt lace through his blood like arsenic, burning as the blond dropped his arms to his sides and sadness tinted his visage.

"Hay guys!" Bebe greeted.

Kenny didn't say anything and neither did kyle. The two of them where still locked looking at one another.

"No ken its not that I promise."

"What ever." Kenny shrugged. "It's cool, I don't really care."

"Ken…" Kyle looked at him sadly.

"What's wrong guys?" Wendy chirped.

"Nothing." Kenny forced a smile turning to her. "What's up?"

Kyle hesitated a split second before jutting forward, pulling the taller boy down to his level with a string of curses before mashing there lips together, wincing slightly as he his busted lip.

"Happy now?" he asked over the catcalls of the two women.

Kenny smirked pulling him into a tight bear hug, returning the kiss double fold. "Your lips bleeding again." Kenny whispered, gently taking it into his mouth, tonguing the slit.

"Ew!" Kyle protested and Kenny laughed.

"Sooo…um you and Kenny huh?" Wendy said, a grin threatening to break her face.

"Yea." Kyle smiled as Kenny caught him around the waist, pulling him close.

"I was wondering when you'd come out." Bebe commented.

"Wait- why?"

"In fourth grade you ran away from me screaming after I kissed you."

Kyle didn't say anything; instead he kicked at the carpet. "What are you doing here?"

"We came to help you with the project."

"Me and Ken's history project?"

"No. The _**reality**_ project."

"The- oh! Oh well there nothing to do I mean that's that. What can be said?"

"Oh. Well than yea shure we'll help with the history project. We just finished ours. Bebe made a really cool diorama of the towns first lay out."

"Cool." Kyle smiled, catching his boy friend in one hand and brother in the other. "Lets get to work than"

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a/n as always please comment. The more comments the quicker the next ch. Gets up (lol not really but it would be nice if it worked that way)

Balabusta- jewish for home maker


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